


Hot Summer Nights

by thirtycenturyman



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Awkward Boners, Awkward Sexual Situations, Dennis is a Bastard Man, Hot Weather, M/M, Mac is a hot dumbass, Masturbation, Masturbation Interruptus, Multi, Sharing a Room, Voice Kink, dennis is fuckimg oblivious like hes got no clue that mac has sneaky shit up his sleeve, he just doesn't admit it, mac bitching all the time turns him on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 02:48:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21206192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thirtycenturyman/pseuds/thirtycenturyman
Summary: (Or How I Learned To Almost Silently Jerk Off In The Presence Of My Roommate)The night is warm, Dennis is hard, and desperate times call for desperate measures.





	Hot Summer Nights

**Author's Note:**

> on second thoughts this is probably crack lmao  
and yes the title + desc is a joint timothee chalamet and dr strangelove reference how epic of you to notice  
(this is in a post-s13 setting)

Nights were long.

Longer if the air conditioning was out in half the apartment.

Longer if Mac's room was affected by this, and even longer if he was forced to sleep on a trundle bed next to Dennis'.

Longest of all is Dennis' boner he needed to take care of. And he would, apart from the fact that Mac couldn't keep quiet for shit.

"Den. Dennis. Bro? You awake?"

Dennis was mute to the point of almost breaking. Even after living with him for over 13 years, who knew sharing a room with Mac could get so infuriating? He watched the clock tick in a disturbingly condescending manner, the ticking following Mac's never-ending whispering and the dull pulsing of his dick. "Go to sleep, for God's sake. It's the middle of the night and boiling hot, you think I need your commentary?"

"Fine. God, no wonder I never spent the night with you when we were kids," Mac muttered half jokingly.

When all seemed quiet, he tossed and turned and ruffled and even fluffed up (or punched, depending on where you're seeing it from) his pillow into a more comfortable shape. "Sorry."

"For what?"

"The noise."

"Oh, guess I didn't fucking notice." Dennis weirdly hated not being the loudest person in the room.

He breathed steadily to the feeling of his fingers curling around the sensitive flesh. His hand moved around discreetly, as to not attract attention from Mac.

Apparently that's not as simple as he first realised.

"Den?"

He groaned with the removal of his hand, but tried masking it with a yawn. "For God's sake, what? You're killing me over here, dude. Killing me."

Mac sat up in the trundle bed and faced Dennis. "I think it's getting hotter, do you feel it getting hotter?"

Lifting up the blanket to mask his erection, Dennis nodded. "I, uh, I don't know, man. I guess you could get some water. Maybe try to sleep?"

"Yeah, alright. It's probably just me." The man next to him turned on his side and exhaled loudly. Hopefully in exhaustion.

Dennis immediately went back to the problem at hand, and stroked it sturdily but with a certain caution. He choked back sensitive little groans and surprisingly didn't sound suspect. At this point, Mac could actually have been correct about the high temperature since a desperate fever shot through his body as his jerking got more rigid. His thumb slid over the tip a few times begging for some release in this dry heat but he just wasn't close enough. If only there was something he could physically get off to?

Porn? Too indiscreet.

Fantasies? His brain was too overworked.

His sex tapes? That wasn't even an option.

Mac getting out of bed, walking straight to the middle of Dennis' line of sight and the one spot with some distinguishable light, and proceeding to take off his shirt--

"Mmmm!" The blanket, albeit a little constricting, muffled a particularly surprised moan and saved his dignity. Dennis lay dead still before Mac started talking again.

"Sorry for waking you up again there, bro. It's hot as fuck in this room."

_Don't look. Don't look._ He kept telling himself this because he knew Mac's insanely chiseled (and now half naked) body was facing him, and he just couldn't risk coming on the spot just because of that.

"Wh- yeah, sure, whatever helps, man. Night," Dennis said far more quickly than he meant to. Avoiding eye contact and trying to get the image out of his head (mostly away from his dick), he rolled onto his side.

Mac nestled into the covers of the bed next to him, the sheets sounding more and more like sheets of paper. Damn, he should really change them.

For another minute, Dennis lay still and silent. The tension in the room subsided, and he drew a breath of relief. His chest rose and shivered as he touched himself again, making sure to retain any noises that would give him away - trust Mac to know the sound of any guy getting off, let alone Dennis'.

"Heh, no, _you_ stop it..."

Dennis shot up, his neck drenched like he just had a fever dream. Now, Mac sleep talking was an interesting development. Dennis planted his face in his hands and muttered mindlessly, "God dammit, god dammit, let me jack off in peace-"

"I thought you were asleep?" Can Mac please not make him grit his teeth every two minutes?

Dennis' fingers gripped the sheets to keep it sturdy. Despite this, a little friction got to his boner and hardly helped his argument. "Dude, your talking is keeping me up, which doesn't--mmm! H-help... at all."

"Sorry about that, I guess? Don't blame me, though, dude. This heat's unbearable."

Oh shit. That kicked something, maybe Mac's voice is a good stimulant? He slowly continued rubbing himself while swallowing down noises." Oh, y-yeah. Unbearable. Ugh... don't need to tell me that."

Mac clearly wasn't going to stop there. "I mean, the fucking electrician said it would've been fixed by yesterday. My ass."

Twin spasms followed where Dennis has been stroking, wincing from the way he'd been holding his tongue to maintain that ever important silence. "Uh huh, your ass, yeah, go on."

"It's just a basic human right at this point, y'know? Those jackoffs at the power station don't know shit, and we're just meant to suffer?"

He knew Mac never meant for those double entendres, but _God_ was it ironic. He stroked himself with the anger of Mac's rants, his lips shut together so tightly he was bound to tip over his limit if Mac even said goodnight again.

"Anyway, sleeping right now is pretty hard but I guess we should try. 'night." Dennis restrained the urge for another 20 seconds. "Mac?" No answer.

Just like that he let himself go, chest rising and eyes clenching shut from the impact. He was so close in the first place he was shocked it took him this long - but damn, was it worth all the trouble. Sure, there were some strangled noises from deep in his throat but most of the afterglow was reduced to sure marks on his lips from biting.

Dennis came back down to the rhythm of his heartbeat and slowly dozed off. He let out one last, long satisfactory hum - met with a smug, "Always happy to help, Den."


End file.
